I won’t admit to people that I am poor. Well, poorer than what I used to be a few years ago. I am a lot poorer because of marital woes. That and the shrinking economy did hubby and I in. Marital vows state couples are to stick together in sickness and in health. Richer or poorer. Till death do us part.
Since I am a financial wizard, when I advised my husband back in 2008 that I didn’t like how the economy was going and we needed to cut back on our spending, he balked. I started cutting back on our spending anyway and diverted funds from Wall Street investments into FDIC ROTH IRA’s instead. He didn’t like that either. He wanted to continue spending and enjoying the lifestyle. The real break in our marriage came when I informed my husband, back in 2009-2010 that we could no longer comfortably afford to go sailing anymore. We just didn’t have the money to moor our Catalina sailboat anymore. It costs $5,000 per summer season to dock our boat.
When I refused to pay the mooring fees, all hell broke lose and hubby and I split. I won’t go into details here. We argued so much so that I decided to end our marriage. I left and moved out of the marital home. DH went on a spending spree. I think he wanted to prove to himself that his lifestyle would go on with or without me. He lost that argument. Quickly, I might add. It didn’t take long for the economic collapse to finally sink in to his brain. It wasn’t the fault of either one of us. It was just the economy, stupid. And you either adjust, prepare and reconcile or fall down along with it.
To get to the end of this story, hubby and I eventually got back together. Two days before, I must add, he got served with divorce papers. I was serious. Preserving our wealth was not a joke to me. Unfortunately, for the both of us, our liquid assets were down 40% due to our marital discord. Hubby soon was out of work. For the next 1.5 years we had to tap into our cash reserves more and more and then, well, you get the idea…………once you start falling, it’s hard to stop.
I’m not furious with DH even though I should be. He has a slight OCD problem and is extremely hyper, so, I cut him some slack. Sometimes, we can only learn life lessons through experience. Most of us don’t like to take advice. Oh, I do yell at him sometimes as to what happened to us, but if the tables were reversed, he would have forgiven me, so, it’s best to just move on and repair what we can.
2011 was extremely hard for both of us. It was this year that I came to the realization that we were going to live a lot poorer than I had planned. 2012 was a lot better as DH found full employment and we started saving money again. There is no way we can recoup what we have lost. We are going to be this poorer. DH and I have mastered the art of living on 40% less than what we used to. I’m glad to say we may be a lot poorer but we are a lot happier. We’re back to laughing and enjoying our lives together once again. We’ve never been able to ever go sailing again. DH has finally accepted that the sailboat must be sold. He put it up for sale last fall with no buyers. He’ll be putting it back up for sale this spring with no regrets. Better to have sailed once and failed than never to have sailed at all. We’re hoping the proceeds from the sale of the sailboat will help fund our micro RV purchase a bit sooner than later.
Yup, we have different hopes and dreams now. May be all for the better.
I still won’t admit to my friends and family that DH and I are a bit poorer. It’s none of their business but nonetheless, they all know anyway. It’s sort of hard to hide. Why is it important to me, I have no idea. I rarely care what others think about me anyway. I think it has to do with accomplishing life’s challenges. I had a pre-set idea of how I wanted my life to be. I had the most perfect plan. Being thrown a curve disrupted all of that. Of course, we all get thrown life curves and we all adjust. This life curve, however, in my opinion, was an embarrassment. I can’t get over the embarrassment. The stupidity of it all.
DH and I just laugh about it now. But back in 2010 it was all so real and distressing. We both have learned since what’s really important in life. I’m glad we stayed together and stuck it out. There’s probably a good reason why those wedding vows stated you had to stay together in sickness and in health, through thick and through thin, richer or poorer, till death do you part. Doing so, gets you a stronger marriage and a better relationship.
And so the beat goes on.